Random stuff I know ...

I have recently learned from local political commercials that God doesn't believe a minimum wage increase should be written in stone ... writing on stone is his deal and he doesn't want his patent infringed.

I used to believe that if you wore you coat in the house you would get maggots ... I now think that this information may be suspect because ...

I have an ulcer in my mouth. I did what my dad taught me. I took a shower. I ate something. I took a poop. None of this helped. I rubbed it hard with a wash rag. I still had to go to a dentist and they burned it with silver nitrate or something. I cried like a girl. I am a girl. It's a little better, but no thanks to my dad's cure-alls.

Now everything my parents said/say will be taken at face value. Not everything can be attributed to NERVES, mom! And, mom, if you wrote all of the Lassie shows, where's all the cash?

There's another political commercial that likens one of the ballot issues to wiping you ass with a cheese grater. I don't even know which ballot issue it is talking about because I can't stop cringing when they show the red-glowing cheese grater on the toilet paper hanger. AAAAH! I'll just guess on that one when I vote.

I've banned tag at work. I kept losing.

So, during last week's blizzard a tree fell on my van. More proof that God keeps me around for the comedy value.


And, last but not least ... only 3 more weeks of weight loss and I should be at my target weight. So, for $600 I learned to eat breakfast, stop eating by 7 p.m. and not to eat 8 choc. chip cookies before I go to sleep. Seems like I could have figured that out for free.