Random stuff I know ...

I have recently learned from local political commercials that God doesn't believe a minimum wage increase should be written in stone ... writing on stone is his deal and he doesn't want his patent infringed.

I used to believe that if you wore you coat in the house you would get maggots ... I now think that this information may be suspect because ...

I have an ulcer in my mouth. I did what my dad taught me. I took a shower. I ate something. I took a poop. None of this helped. I rubbed it hard with a wash rag. I still had to go to a dentist and they burned it with silver nitrate or something. I cried like a girl. I am a girl. It's a little better, but no thanks to my dad's cure-alls.

Now everything my parents said/say will be taken at face value. Not everything can be attributed to NERVES, mom! And, mom, if you wrote all of the Lassie shows, where's all the cash?

There's another political commercial that likens one of the ballot issues to wiping you ass with a cheese grater. I don't even know which ballot issue it is talking about because I can't stop cringing when they show the red-glowing cheese grater on the toilet paper hanger. AAAAH! I'll just guess on that one when I vote.

I've banned tag at work. I kept losing.

So, during last week's blizzard a tree fell on my van. More proof that God keeps me around for the comedy value.


And, last but not least ... only 3 more weeks of weight loss and I should be at my target weight. So, for $600 I learned to eat breakfast, stop eating by 7 p.m. and not to eat 8 choc. chip cookies before I go to sleep. Seems like I could have figured that out for free.

Political Genius ...

You heard it here first ...

President Bush, feeling backed into a corner politically lately, called on the former President and asked his advice. Now, here's what we have.

Crazy, old North Korea tests a nuke.

Spotlight is off Foley and what the Republicans may have known.

Bill told him it would work.

P.S. Why do they call Clinton the 40-second President? Isn't that a little mean?

Blind people smoke crack ...

Really ... they must. The local Business Journal has a story about it .

Battle brewing over Internet access
for blind Web surfers
In 1992, The Americans with Disabilities Act became law. The act provides "equal opportunity for individuals with disabilities in public accommodations, employment, transportation, state and local government services and telecommunications." But does the law apply to Web sites? At least one federal judge thinks it might, the National Federation of the Blind thinks it does, and at least one retail-giant, Target, thinks it doesn't.

The story goes on to say that a blind guy is mad because he thinks Target's website discriminates against blind people 'cause they can't use it. The NFB is taking the case to court and a judge heard the motion to dismiss but believes the case has merit.

So maybe the judge is smoking crack, too.

Are there websites that blind people do use? Couldn't he just get a friend to read him about what he wants to buy at Target? And even when he goes to the store, there aren't too many Braille labels out there, are there?

Maybe we should shut down the whole internet so this could be more fair to blind people or the computer illiterate.

We should wipe out music to be more sympathetic to deaf people.

Ridiculous.

A new love ...

So, I've been gone for a few days, but I needed time to reflect, to find myself. My blog seemed as though it was getting a bit negative, so I wanted to prance around the internet to see what everyone else was doing. And I found more about myself than I probably needed to know.

First, I am 43% geek. I'm less nerd and only a smidge dork. It kinda makes me normal since I'm not 50% or more of any of the three.

I have an IQ of 128. Jimmy's is higher, but I wasn't really trying and he was working his ass off.

If everyone lived like me we would need 3.8 more planets to sustain the population. I don't know where we would get 3.8 more planets, but I'm not worrying about it. I have a gun and it is always survival of the fittest anyway.

And I'm going to die when I'm 82.


I love the internet. I would have never know any of these things about myself were it not for the amazing world of cyberspace.

TV is now only a close second to my laptop and the internet. Pie crust is out. Plus, pie crust ruined my life and owes me the cost of this crazy diet (only 10 pounds left).